3 months.
I first want to thank Price Stanley for the rain today and on every significant day since you went to heaven. Those first days after I held you for the last time, I prayed that the sun would not come out. I could not handle the sunshine masking my pain, highlighting that the world didn’t stop, shining on the fact that… life goes on. Having cloud cover or rain helps me see physically what I feel internally, and that is comforting for some reason.
I would also like to thank everyone for your support on Price’s birthday, Priceless Heart Day. After the funeral the calls slowed, cards stopped, and check-ins were farther apart. But on that day, our family was able to see just how far reaching Price’s legacy has gone, how many people still want to be there for us, and how on that day, everyone felt like they COULD DO SOMETHING in a situation where most supporters felt helpless. Even something so simple as wearing red was a visual representation of support. And the banner!!! Omg!!! No clue how that developed, but thank you. Thank you all!
I have tried to be honest through all of this, but this next statement is hard for me.
I am struggling. There. I said it.
I strive for perfection in almost every area of my life. I can’t make this perfect. I’m also a helper, the fixer, the one people come to for solutions. I have none. Giving myself leeway and grace has been the one lesson that I am finding hardest to learn. My faith in our good God is tested every day. But I’m seeking out his miracles, signs, and wonders. Today, this rainy Monday morning, is one of them. ❤️